Back from the dead - double update

About time I got into the swing of things again:


Johnny, Ripp and Tank find out that there is indeed two sides to every story...


... while the twins have an unexpected, unwelcome visitor.

Click the pics to go to the chapters.

Update on legacy

Fish Out Of Water has finally been updated. We're currently on Chapter Nineteen where the elderly couple enjoy a holiday in the mountains.

Click the pic to visit the chapter.

Double update - Xeno and legacy

Anger and grief rage through the place set up to offer hope. As the truth about the Grunt boys is brought to light, how will this affect the perception of those watching from the sidelines?

Dylan gets a call at Uni and finds out which of the twins has been chosen for heir.

Click the pics to read the latest.

Story updates - Xenophobia and Fish Out Of Water

It's not just rants you'll find here. Since I see this as my front page, what better place to keep you posted on updates to my stories? (Apart from the obvious news blog of course ;))

Anyway. As the title suggests - and as I mentioned in the previous post - I've updated both my stories on here:

Tank's search for help finally proves fruitful, while his father accepts an offer of friendship. As Buzz unloads his past regrets and his teenage sons find what looks to be a way out, all may find that there is more to their sources of hope than they realise.

I've been updating like crazy on my legacy lately, too. The twins now settle at Uni, still wondering which of them will be chosen for heir.

Click the pics to go straight to the chapters.

Visiting the Asylum

It took me long enough to do this I know, but better late than never, as they say. After this I'll revert to a more traditional form of posting, business or personal, but wanted this out of the way so I could illustrate what part of my being is in charge of which updates, so to speak. Bearing in mind I'm rubbish at keeping journals, but I'll do my best.

I'll warn you now, I'm gonna get pretty open here. It's high time I did; that's partly why I'm doing this. The other reason is the hope that someone out there will relate to at least some part of this. It's also pretty long; you have been warned.

Anyway, I've broken you in gently by introducing the "organised" part of my little world - now onto the place where chaos reigns...

Welcome to my personal asylum! We all have one, I'm sure; the part of ourselves that we prefer to keep hidden away from the acquaintances in our lives, although once in a while it manages to escape into the wilderness. Mine tends to work a little differently, however; there's more than one in here for a start.

Now be honest; speaking from a simming perpective, how many of us can say we fit neatly into one aspiration? Even EAxis admitted as much when they released FreeTime, and gave our sims the choice of a secondary aspiration. Typically though, there's always some awkward folk that can't be satisfied even by two ways to view the world, and yes, I'm one of them.

There are six aspirations in all: Family, friendship/popularity, knowledge, romance (read sex), pleasure and wealth/fortune. Would you believe I could fit into all of them in some way? How about the fact that there are not six sims in this place, but eight?

Come, I'll introduce you. I'll start with the safest one, I think:

This is the side everyone sees of me most of the time. This is Knowledge; my spiritual side, my empathetic, creative side who is ever-curious about the world and beyond. She is the head of this place as she's most dominant within, and was the part who opened me up to Christianity.

Well, she's one of the most dominant - she shares the power with someone else:

One of the first things you'll notice about this guy is just that - he's male. I found out about a year or so ago that a "condition" exists (for want of a better word) called androgyny; meaning the person either doesn't relate to either of the accepted definitions for male or female gender, or they relate equally to both. With me it's the latter. Sounds weird - living it is even more so - but I've learned to my cost that thinking about that too much is a bad idea. It did drive me nuts wondering what was going on, but now I know, it's cool. In fact, as far as my writing goes, it's proving to be incredibly helpful, and is most likely the reason I can write about men's feelings as well as I can women's.

The next thing you'll notice is that he's alien. That's because he represents the technical, logical side of me who likes to throw in sci-fi elements here and there with my stories. He's also the reason I don't bother so much with my appearance as I perhaps should do.

From this point onward, things get a little messy. You see, when Maxis came up with the wealth aspiration, they assumed it just boiled down to materialism, earning loads of money and gold digging. While all but the last one was true when I was younger, these days when I think of money, I think something completely different.

How many times I've felt like that I don't dare to imagine. And yes, it was my own stupid fault, but if I keep brooding on that I'll just make myself worse. It's a long story anyway; to make matters worse I'm far from the only one. Sadly debt is becoming such a problem in Britain, and compared to some people I'm actually not that bad a case - given how much I owe, that's a shocking factor. I used to love money, now I see it as one of life's necessary evils. This is why I dream of just being comfortable financially; when you're used to living with about a fiver in your purse to last you the week, you're a lot easier to please.

Same goes for the family aspect. This part of myself is also far from happy:

It used to drive me nuts a few years ago, and not in the traditional broody sense either. Well, it was sort of, except that I had a reason - like far too many others in this day and age, I'd lost a baby. I'm not going to go into the details, not here. In fact, since it's not as much on my mind as it used to be, I'm just gonna leave it at that for now. Let's get onto a better part, shall we?

Now you know where Ripp Grunt gets it from! I learned in college, and although I'm far from professional I used to love playing them, and still miss them every now and then. It's an awesome way to let out whatever frustrations you have, and they're fun to play, too. The only problem is, not only are the full size kits big and without a volume control, even the electronic ones cost more than I can afford right now.

This is Friendship, by the way. The part of me that was in aspiration failure during school, and that turned me into an attention whore as a result - only of course it backfired. She's faring much better these days now I don't feel the need to seek out friends - one of the many things church is great for. Also the musical side of me, who loves to go to parties and dress up; the outgoing character I used to wish I could be. In that sense I've let her get overshadowed by the other, quieter types; not all of us are born outgoing, and as much as I enjoy socialising, I can live with the fact that I'm just not one of them. No sense in pretending you're something you're not.

Ah yes, my inner wild child. Meet Pleasure, the part of me that prefers to play or just do things that I want to do, rather than work. Obviously I can't let him take over too much, otherwise I'll fail University among other things, but if I keep him locked up I'll go insane.

He gets a lot more free reign in other ways though, especially recently. He's the guy mostly to blame for my dark tastes, and he's teamed up with the head white witch, of all people, to shout at me about expressing that inner darkness more than I have been. Why her? It's a long story, one I'll go into at a later time. Let's just say she got me into Christianity for a reason, and all sorts of crazy things have been happening since then.

Pleasure and Knowledge have their differences, but on that score they get on surprisingly well. The one he gets on with best though, is his favourite party animal - they have the most in common.

There are a couple who have a little trouble in here, probably the most out of all of this crazy bunch. They're the guys I've learned to keep under lock and key on pain of repeating past mistakes, although that's not necessarily a good thing, I'll admit.

Meet Romance, or one of them. This lady actually liaises a lot with Family, and is pretty good at making me look silly in front of guys - or girls - that I really like. Or at least she used to, before Knowledge helped bump up her charisma skill. The last time I let her out, she actually handled the situation beautifully, and Knowledge gave her a well deserved pat on the back for being so diplomatic.

While Miss Romance deals with the emotional side of things, Mr Romance here handles the physical side. He got out more when I was younger, and now he's the one who's locked up the most. He and his female partner in crime are responsible for the steamy scenes I write, although they're not as brazen as they'd have people believe.

So that's the crew of the ship. The reason I'm writing my blog in this way is simply because I'm more of a visual person. The way I plan events - in fiction or real life - is to visualise them. I watch them happen as though watching a movie. In the case of my muses, they don't tap me on the shoulder so much as do a mind swap; I become the person living the scenario that's unfolding. With an imagination as vivid as this, and with so much on that front to get off my chest, there was really no other way I was doing this.

Now that's over with, I have some catching up to do. In the meantime I've updated my stories, go check 'em out :)

Catch ya later!

Welcome to my world

Hello there! Glad you could join me. Before we start, I need to explain a few things:

First off, you see those tattoos? That's not really what I have - that one on my right arm is actually a dolphin; the one on my chest isn't really that big, it's a little butterfly; I have one on my waist (you can't see it in that pic) which is a tiger; there's one on my left shoulder too that's of a baby's hand print, which I'll explain another time.

Another thing is the sims vs real life pictures. This house is the closest I could find to represent where I live...

... although it doesn't look quite like that. The city itself doesn't resemble the set-up I have here, but it'll have to do. Anyway though, this is where I live in Headingley, which is an outskirt area of Leeds in West Yorkshire, England. As you may have gathered, it's an apartment building, sort of. It has two flats on the ground floor as you go in, one on the second floor, and the first floor contains four bedsits and a communal bathroom. This is mine:

Excuse the mess... That said though, apparently even this isn't as bad as some student spaces. Anyway, this is pretty much my home for now. I got left with the smallest on the floor, so I've not much room to spread - especially since people came to replace my nice three-drawer desk with this modern, one-drawer surface I'm using now. There's a problem with sim-desks though - they're back to front. Swap the computer and printer around, and it'd be more accurate.

What's through that door? Here, I'll show you:

Welcome to my little kitchen! *sigh* That sink is actually a bit further down and the cooker's in front of the draining board. Also, that food processor isn't so big - I got a miniature version that suits me fine, seeing as I'm only one person, but the counter it's on isn't that big. In fact it's about half the size. Still, I managed to fit a toaster on there too, and along with the microwave there's a kettle and one of those George Foreman grills - I love those things :D

During the academic year I studied games design, but during the second year when I got back into writing, I decided I could write stories for games as a career. Only trouble is, I found out, you need a degree in English - not my current course - and some published material before they'll even look at you. So, now I'm in the middle of a transfer to an English and History course, which I should be starting this coming September. In the meantime I'm literally between courses - my second year finished over a month ago, so my life for now isn't that exciting. I do get out though..

Church on Sunday night, related "Small Group" as it's known on Wednesdays (I'll explain about that another time).. I did have classical singing lessons on Thursdays, but we've broken up now. No work as yet; I registered with an agency, but realised I had to update some details with them - I'll have to nag them next week.

This is where you'll most often find me these days, complete with lounging suit. I don't just write or Sim on there either, although that's mostly what I do.

You may have noticed this by now, but although most women like to take some care in their appearance, some hating the thought of even going out without putting some make-up on.. I'm not most women. In fact I'll often go to church in my lounging suit.

I do sometimes spend more time on my appearance, especially if going out with friends. In the main though, it doesn't bother me. So long as I don't look like a tramp I'm not fussed, although admittedly it does feel good to dress up now and again.

In the main though.. yeah. Outside's a bit blah right now - inside there's much more going on...

~~~~~~

Hellooo! Welcome to the innermost reaches of my mind... To be more specific; we all have a comfort zone, an ideal lifestyle or whatever - this is mine. What you see now is how I'd look if/when I take more notice of myself. I'd still like to get my nose pierced one of these days, and as for the hair - well, I've tried a few times to get that shade. I will get my hair that colour sooner or later.

This is where I'd like to live - because I'm crap at building in-game, I went looking for something as close to my ideal house as possible, and this is what I found:

My dream involves owning my own house, instead of renting, and being comfortable enough to not have to worry so much about money anymore. Yeah, we probably all wish for something like that, huh? Notice I haven't mentioned being filthy rich, and the modest size of the house? I'm under no illusions about being incredibly wealthy. It'd be nice, sure, especially if I worked for it. On the flip side, there's an even bigger risk of being taken advantage of, for a start. I don't want a huge manor either - I like to spread, but I don't want to rattle in the place.

Something I really miss though, and a big reason why I want my own place, is feline company.

Imagination's a great thing, isn't it? Why those particular breeds? Well, the Turkish Van and Ragdoll have very different personalities, but I love the sound of them both. They're both very friendly, Vans are highly intelligent and have been described as "dogs in cats' clothing" (I love dogs too, but cats are easier to look after), while Ragdolls are incredibly passive and affectionate. I'd love to get one of each for real some day.

In the meantime, allow me to show you round this lovely place - look, separate rooms! There's even a dining room that is solely a dining room...

A proper sitting room...

Now this is my idea of a kitchen!

You can actually move in this one! ... Easily pleased? You've no idea. Before moving up to Leeds, I was living with my Mum and brother. The kitchen there was so small, she moved most of it into the dining room, so she has a sitting room that, I gather, is still cluttered with other pieces of furniture (from when my brother moved back with her), and a kitchen diner. Before you ask, most of this house has been redecorated to my taste, too. I love the older look, it has so much more character. No TV, either in real life or even my ideal home - I watched it so infrequently while at home, and when needing to conserve money I was quick to scrap it altogether - no point in shelling out for a TV license when I barely watch it. If I want to watch something, I'll get/borrow a DVD and watch it on my computer.

Ah, there it is, a decent model this time too. There's two spare rooms in this house, and this one had a desk. Much better to keep it in a different room I think, especially with leaving things like broadband modems on all the time. In fact I moved the cat beds in here so we can keep each other company while I work.

My bedroom? Here it is:

How much of that I'd be able to do for real I don't know, but always better to confine such... unique tastes to one room. Imagine the whole house like this when there's a chance of visitors?

The landscaping of this house is a bonus. I like to walk a lot, and although it's usually for travel, it's so nice to just stroll through a park sometimes, just to relax. Even better when you can do that in your own back garden.

The seasons in real life are weird, at least in England. At the moment it's Summer, but the weather makes it more like Autumn. Here in my mind, the seasons are more how they used to be weather-wise, but the passing of them is even stranger. I do have my favourite, but seasons in my mind represent my mood, or the kind of dreams I get. At the moment it's Spring - I'm not personally in love, but the characters I write about are! It's often Spring just because I'm a big romantic at heart, but a lot of the time it fights for dominance with others - Autumn for now, because I'm also getting a lot of spooky/paranormal type ideas.

As much as I'd like to spend all my time here though, that's out of the question. This is only where I see myself sometime in real life, or at least hope for. This is the nice part of my mind - for one to find out what really makes me tick, one must delve much deeper than this. I'll be honest with you and say a lot of what lurks underneath I've not long found out myself.

So if you're feeling brave, tune in next post to meet more versions of myself - and yes, there's a reason I use the plural...